RECIPIENT REFLECTION

Mentorship recipient:
Today
Mentor commentary:
Ali McLain

ON THE REVISION PROCESS FOR "TODAY"

by Stephanie Choi

I recently moved to Cleveland, having just graduated from the University of Arizona where I was lucky to have a world-renowned poetry center right on my campus. The poetry center is where I transformed how I saw and felt the world, and where I learned how to craft my visions and feelings into language—between taking my workshop classes and roaming, reading, studying, and crafting in the space. My workshop classes were the best courses I took in college. I was scared the first few times my poem was up for workshop: I was afraid to share and read my work, and afraid of what my peers would think and say. I learned quickly, though, that hearing my peers’ feedback was crucial to my revision process. They saw meaning in my poems that I hadn’t yet, and they heard the words in completely new and amazing rhythms.
 
My workshop classes taught me all I know thus far about crafting and revising; I’m a new poet, still trying to find a groove to my own writing process. When I saw an article mentioning Gordon Square Review in Scene, I decided I would submit even though I had never submitted to a journal before. I had no expectations of being accepted. I submitted my poems in the way I would have submitted them to my workshop class—I didn’t know how to prepare a poem for a real submission to a publication. Thus, I’m so grateful that I was selected for the editorial mentorship. Ali challenged me to think about and hear my poem in new and better way. Her suggestions and feedback to my revisions was specific and guided me to finding the final version.
 
I hadn’t revised “Today” at all before submitting it; I wrote it (on a post-it note, in an actual coffee shop—Rising Star) right before sending in my submission. I was unsure of whether to include it or another, older poem. I decided to because I felt that in the moment of writing it, all of my subconscious and conscious thoughts and feelings of moving to a new place and experiencing new things manifested into the poem. The original version, however, wasn’t a fair expression of the intensity of feelings. Working with Ali, I realized the line breaks and form left too much space between thoughts and awkward pauses in rhythm and voice. A moment so intense to me needed a poem that reflected a pulsing heartbeat—a breath needing to be caught. The revisions reflect the rhythm of my feelings and the culmination of my subconscious and conscious thoughts at the time more accurately. I’m proud of this poem and know it still has more to teach me; I’m excited for those future moments of learning and realization.

Stephanie Choi

Stephanie Choi graduated from the University of Arizona in May 2017 with a degree in English and Literacy, Learning, and Leadership. She was an active environmental and social justice organizer, on and off campus. Her passion for public service and belief that young people need to be working in and/or running for government led her search for post-grad government fellowships. She was set on taking one in San Francisco when she had a sudden change of heart and chose to accept the role as a Cleveland Foundation Public Service Fellow at the Cuyahoga County Department of Sustainability. She’s enjoying getting to know Cleveland, and learning how to not be in college anymore.