MENTOR COMMENTARY

Mentorship Recipient:
​Further

Recipient Reflection:
Rose Driscoll

 On "Further" by Rose Driscoll

by ​Matt Weinkam

Reading Rose Driscoll’s “Further” for the first time it was clear this writer was operating at a higher level than most. Almost a quarter of a million miles higher.

In the spirit of Calvino with the emotion of Alice Munro, Rose had made the far-out stuff of science fiction feel real and intimate by focusing on a single relationship. Initially I was struck by how slyly the premise was introduced. Terraforming the moon was just another fact of life for these characters: a reason to stay up at night, a problem to be solved at work. But one neat trick hid another as the moon colony was a sleight of hand designed to deliver the heartbreak of watching a loved one drift away, the two pulled apart by forces that seem as fated as the movement of the stars.

This is why it was such a joy to work with Rose to revise the story as a part of Gordon Square Review’s editorial mentorship program. All the major elements were in place in the initial draft; we simply collaborated on punching up sections and polishing individual lines to heighten the impact of what is already there. For example, we refined the recurring theme of an expanding universe so that each time it appeared it delivered something new. We also tried beginning the story in several different places to determine which would best propel the reader through the story.

Each time I made suggestions Rose would return with a stronger, more creative take on an already brilliant story. Rose’s added details—from oxygen farming to the moon pin on Paul’s lapel—took the story to new heights. By the end of the process, when the individual elements of the story aligned, the scope of Rose’s accomplishment came into focus.

“Good literature,” says Ben Marcus, “is a delivery system for feeling…an arrangement of words designed to lodge intense emotion in the reader.” Not only does “Further” deliver, it lingers long after you’ve finished reading, a sign it’s lodged somewhere near the heart. Based on this and on their skill of improving on already strong stories, any Earthling can see: Rose Driscoll is going to go far.

Matt Weinkam

Matt Weinkam is a writer, editor, and college instructor with published work in Denver Quarterly, Sonora Review, New South, Quarter After Eight, Split Lip, DIAGRAM, and Electric Literature. He is founding editor of Threadcount Magazine and a former Managing Editor of Passages North literary journal. He holds an MA in creative writing from Miami University, an MFA in fiction from Northern Michigan University, and he has taught creative writing as far away as Sun Yat-sen University in Zhuhai, China. Originally from Cincinnati, Matt moved to Cleveland the same month LeBron broke the curse.  ​