MENTORSHIP RECIPIENT 

Mentorship Recipient
"Reflections"

Mentor Commentary:
Laura Maylene Walter

On the Revision Process for "Reflections"

by ​​Charlotte L Oakeby

Whilst writing “Reflections,” I had so many vivid ideas all at once that, within a few days, I’d finished the piece and submitted it to multiple publications. My aim, as with every piece I write, is to pour lyricism into each and every line, so that when I read it back, I think, I actually quite like the sound of this. “Reflections” seemed so natural to me. When Laura offered me an editorial mentorship, I was beyond shocked. From the beginning, I wanted to grasp this opportunity with both hands, and use this experience to learn and grow. As a seventeen-year-old, having this chance at such an early point is something I know will set me up for the future.
 
At no point was I apprehensive about what was to follow—as I’m still in education, having my work critiqued is something I’m so used to. I welcomed every suggestion Laura gave me, and we began by making little changes. Adding a few sentences here and there supported the transition from scene to scene, and improved the overall fluidity of the piece. Laura felt the ending needed to be extended, as in the first draft, I’d rounded things off a little harshly. This took the most time to resolve, perhaps, as I was desperate to find the perfect balance—not cutting it short nor dragging it on, whilst demonstrating Elizabeth is the catalyst for the narrator’s suffering for many years to follow. The title was also a feature we wanted to alter. Oddly enough, I find sourcing a title the most difficult part of putting together a piece. We eventually settled on “Reflections,” which ties in with the mirror imagery weaved throughout the piece, and the idea that the narrator’s encounter with Elizabeth forces her to look at herself in a different light.
 
The piece is a true representation of the generation I belong to, where looks are worshipped and substance is disregarded. And, as a result of my mentorship and the revisions made, I feel this idea is now conveyed to the reader even more so.  It has been such an honour to gain this invaluable experience, and work with someone as talented, supportive and understanding as Laura. I am truly grateful.
 
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Charlotte L Oakeby

Charlotte L Oakeby is a seventeen-year-old, self-confessed perfectionist from West Sussex, United Kingdom, with a passion for languages and literature. Her love for writing began after cancer stole her father when she was thirteen. Her first piece of work is forthcoming in the Cosumnes River Journal. She can be found on Instagram (@charli_oakebyxo) or Twitter (@charlioakebyxo).