MENTORSHIP RECIPIENT

Mentor Commentary:
Katie Strine

Recipient Reflection: 
Janet Marstine

On the Revision Process for "The Ring"

by Janet Marstine

Having a mentor is a gift. In my former academic career in museum ethics, being mentored by a senior colleague who recognized my potential and inspired me to become a leader in my field impacted my approach to scholarly writing and reflection more than any other source, including my formal education. The supportive, trusting dynamic of mentoring creates a safe space for the mentee to examine and address their vulnerabilities while they build the skills and confidence needed to thrive.
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As an emerging creative nonfiction writer, I was thrilled to be awarded a mentorship by Katie Strine to revise “The Ring” for the Gordon Square Review. Katie’s insightful, sensitive guidance led me to understand the power of flash to transform an author’s whole approach to writing.

Working to express complex ideas about a mother-daughter relationship, the process of grief, and the politics of wealth and class through one object and a minimum of words was daunting. In the original draft of “The Ring” I submitted, I included extraneous details. The ending was too abrupt and not sufficiently probing. The structure was overly conventional, not quirky or tight enough to convey the intensity of the story I was trying to tell. 

Katie helped me to develop new strategies for greater economy of language, getting to the heart of the matter, and reorganizing to heighten drama. For example, with Katie’s support, I deleted details from my original introduction that didn’t drive the narrative forward. Now the piece begins right in scene at the hospital, a much more resonant opening. 

Katie also asked me to consider moving up the paragraph about the robbery, originally towards the end of the essay, to just beneath the line in which my dad tells me to keep the ring safe and just above the paragraph where I say “I felt like a thief.” Without Katie’s brilliant direction, I wouldn’t have seen the expressive punch of juxtaposing these three elements.

Finally, Katie challenged me to explain further, in the conclusion, how the ring bonds me to my mother. Just as I was trying to figure that out, I noticed I was rubbing the back of the ring with my thumb, a subconscious self-comforting habit. My new awareness prompted me to write about that habit and others that connect to my mom through the concrete presence of the ring. 
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The strategies and tactics of flash revision that Katie showed me are already impacting my long-form writing. I promise to pay it forward.

Janet Marstine

Janet Marstine is a retired Associate Professor of Museum Studies, University of Leicester (UK). She’s writing a memoir, “The Trans-Adjacent Sister,” examining how her brother’s transgender identity, first manifested four generations ago, shaped the person Janet is today. Janet’s creative non-fiction has been published in the Ginosko Literary Journal. She lives in Maine, one of her two favorite places, and, each winter, visits the other, Jodhpur, India, where she leads trauma-informed journaling workshops with LGBTQIA+ young people at Sambhali Trust.